December 31st, 2011-Shiny Toy Guns-Ghost Town

So, the clock is ticking toward the end of 2011. I am usually the kind of person who bah-humbugs the previous year, and welcomes the new one in, expecting it to different-better-just because it is a new year. Like time says, "You know, 2011 was a rough year for her; what do you say we ease up for 2012 and cut her a break?" This year, I have a different attitude moving into the new year. Was 2011 rough? Oh, hell yes. Is 2012 going to magically easier? Oh, hell no! But you know what? I am ok with that-for  once. I guess the key to that is attitude and perspective, and a big change in both for me. Even though this year has been painful, I am making the choice to look back on it with gratitude. Gratitude for the good times, and gratitude for learning from the bad times. I made huge, life changing decisions this year, one of which was to get sober, with the help of a 12-Step program. I credit that for the change in attitude and perspective. So my point is this: 2012 may not be "better" than 2011, but it sure will be different and as long as I carry the lessons from 2011 into it, I will be ok. It will no doubt bring its own set of challenges- some of which I haven't even anticipated yet. But, the challenges of 2011 have taught me so much: just to keep moving through the pain, to stay in the moment, to be grateful, to be strong, and to walk into uncharted territory even though I am scared. To start taking responsibility for my own choices and the changes I still need to make. Of course, some moments are easier than others, but I understand more than ever that I can get through it. Not by avoiding the feelings, or drowning them in alcohol, but by embracing them, feeling them. I still have some fear of the unknown walking into this new year, but I won't let that hinder me. After all, I only have to take it one moment at a time. I can handle that. Anyway, my goal for this beautiful, sun-shiny day to to enjoy it with my son, so with that, I will close with my Moment of Waking lyric: "Everyone living in Ghost Town"

December 29th, 2011- Take my Breath Away-The Knife

Much less anxiety today. Watched "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly" last night. Incredible true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, the editor of Elle magazine, who suffered a stroke at the age of 45. He was entirely paralyzed from head to toe, with the exception of his left eye. He then decided he wanted to write a book about his experience, and with woman taking dictation, with the only communication being the blinking of his left eye, letter by letter, he did. He died ten days after the book was finished. It really puts things into perspective when you see something like that, and I feel so much gratitude for my life today. I am really looking forward to getting the book. Anyway, here is my Moment of Waking song, by a band recently introduced to me by a friend, The Knife. The lyric I woke up with? "And we raise our heads for the colour red."Great stuff. I couldn't find the original, but I like this remix.

December 28th, 2011- Moment of Waking

Well, I was two strikes down before I even got out of bed this morning: 1) Unskinny Bop was in my head 2) My body was riddled with anxiety. Been trying to get rid of both all day, haha. I am trying so hard to stay in the moment, to be really aware of where I am at any moment, and I do mean physically. I find that I can't be wrapped up in my head if I am listening to my body, although the anxiety is virtually a constant presence, ebbing and flowing through my chest. I realized that I should not fight it, but maybe just give into it a little, but not in a self-pity kind of way. In a "the only way out is through" kind of way. Not very comfortable, but I just try to keep reminding myself of all the things I have to be grateful for and, that this too, shall pass. In a meeting the other day, the topic was the first step. I had an amazing epiphany. I realized, for the first time, that I am powerless over my mothers suicide. And I don't mean in a what I could have/should have done to prevent it kind of way...those thoughts plagued me for a long time. I don't even know if I can explain it...but it really helped me understand and let go of it in new way. I feel an amazing amount of gratitude for that. In the meantime, I have realized, as Shirley Manson sang "The trick is to keep breathing." It really is. The mind-body connection is an amazing thing, and at some point today, I recognized that when the anxiety was the worst, I was unconsciously holding my breath. So, breathing in my goal right now. I think I can handle that. Oh, and I just cannot bring myself to post Unskinny Bop, so I am posting Garbage instead ;)

Moment of Waking-December 14, 2011

Ahhh, no major insights or revelations to report today, thank god. Everybody needs a break sometimes! Woke up with Lou Reed this morning, and in a fabulous mood. I love Lou, he is such a weirdo, how can I not? "Satellite's gone, up to the skies, things like that drive me out of my mind." Love this one...

 

46+2

Life is such a trip sometimes. I made a huge, life-changing decision, and it has set off a chain reaction. I am not complaining, but damn. Now, I like to think that I am pretty good about taking an honest look at myself, admitting my character defects and such, but life has given me a whole new level to look at. When I decided to end my marriage, as painful as a decision as it was, I felt a measure of relief. Of course, I knew that it was not the source of all my problems, I guess I just did not realize that I was so hyper-focused on that particular set of problems, it made it so easy for me to ignore myself. To ignore what I need to deal with, what I need to work through. I was always the kid in school who did well, but only just well enough to make good grades and not really excel at anything. I was always hearing about my "potential." I never put it into motion. Well, surprise surprise; here I am, all these years later, still locked in the potential mode. Ain't that some shit. I am realizing that it is not enough for me to break free of a confining relationship; I have to break free of myself. I confine myself to this set of imaginary lines I constructed a long time ago. And I am fucking tired of it. Tired of being disappointed in myself. Tired of doing the bare minimum to get through the day. It's bullshit, to be quite honest. There is another me just screaming to be let out! And it won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is, right? And I am so ready. I will no longer just stand idly by as my life passes. I want to LIVE it. Feel it. Be present in it. In other words, live it to the fullest extent that is humanly possible. I want to soak it up, absorb it with every pore. I thirst for it. Yearn for it. First things first, I have some messes to clean up. The only way I have ever been able to do that is through a 12-step program. I have a love/hate relationship with the program, although I cannot really pin down why. I mean, it quite literally saved my life. I bet if I did pin a reason down, I would find it to be complete and utter bullshit. So, I am heading back to meetings, and I am going to work the steps. I have never had such an intense spiritual connection as I did when I was working a program, working steps. I also decided to take a semester off of school, partially out of necessity. My estranged husband has decided that he needs a month in Seattle to deal with everything. A month does not sound like a long time-until you factor in the whole parenting bit, it becomes a lot more complicated. I was furious to begin with, but now I get it. Here's a shocker...maybe it isn't all about ME! Ha-imagine that! So, I am going to take some time for myself. It's demolition and reconstruction time, do or die, put up or shut the fuck up. Really. I don't think I am being over dramatic, and if I am, oh well. It's funny how one decision can take you down a path that you never imagined. It will also give me time to give my son some extra time and attention, which I am so grateful to be able to provide for him. He deserves it. Anyway, I am just emotionally and physically exhausted and I have no idea if I am making any sense whatsoever. I just gotta get it out. The best way to sum it all up is a song, as usual. A Tool song, at that. 46+2...that is where I am, what I want to do. Clear it all out, even if I have to crawl on my belly to do it, and step through my own shadow. I'm ready. Bring it on.

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011- For the second time in my life, I am in a extraordiary amount of emotional pain. The first time was when my mom commited suicide. I didn't walk through it so much as just exist through it. I just kept waking up, breathing, eating...without any choice in the matter. It just was. I had no faith, I really thought there was no way I would ever be ok again, and happy-ha! It was a living nightmare, every second of everyday for the first year or two. This December 13th marks the 6th anniversary of her death. Only in the past year or two did this time of year start to become significantly less painfull. God, my timing is impeccable. So now, having decided to divorce, here I am, in this often overwheming pain. This time...this time I know I will get through this. And I will do so wide awake, feeling it. Walking through the feeling. Without alcohol..hahaha...drowning my sorrows in drink has not even crossed my mind. No need to question that one. I have faith this time. I have had experience as the ulimate teacher. With my mom, I would have done anything in the world to get her back...if I could have willed myself back in time to try and change things, I would have in a heartbeat. It is just as impossible to do so now as it was then. I didn't get married thinking I would get divorced. Could I change my decision? Of course. Will I? No...there is no turning back. To me, it is a final as my mom's death, it is a death in it's own way. I choose everyday not to turn back, just to keep moving forward. I just keep playing the whole tape through, and it has never been a new tape, with a surprise ending, why would it be any different now? I can feel this pain, and still look back an appreciate the happy times, I could not do that with my mom for so long, the pain took over everything. And of course, there are the constants. My friends and family, who hold me up during the most painful times. I have more gratitude than I can put into words for that. My amazing son. And did I mention faith? Call it God, call it the Universe...it's there. I just have to breath the fear out, cry the fear, the heartache, out and make room for faith. Choose to let it in. Easier in some moments that others, but even in that fear, I still know, deep in my heart, that I will not only be ok, I will be happy again. I am not a zombie this time around...I can still laugh and enjoy life. Maybe in smaller doses right now, but it is there. Another constant? Music. Man...where would I be without it? I don't even want to know. I can allow it into my soul, even if it is painful, it is ultimately cleansing. Plus, I can shake my ass to it and blow some steam off, which is a huge plus ;) Anyway, this group of 3 songs, once again, I am at a loss for words. They comfort me beyond belief, even when I sit in my car and cry to them. One lyric that I love, "Spread your codes to the stars"...it reminds me that I am a part of somethig so much bigger than myself, but it does not make me feel small. It makes me feel...reassured, hopeful even. And it takes me out of my own head, which is always a good thing. So, in the end, I hurt. It sucks. But above and beyond all that, I am grateful, I have faith and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. What more can I ask for? Absolutely nothing.

Moment of Waking-Tuesday, December 6th, 2011- Sigh...I love this song. It makes me want to do things...like put on a beautiful dress, sexy heels, and slow dance with a handsome man. I am making a promise to myself- when I get the chance to build a romance (intentionally used 'when' and not 'if'...gotta stay off the pity pot), it will be with a man that will slow dance with me. Seems like such a tiny thing in the grand scheme of life, but spending so many years wanting such a small thing and being denied it..well, I am done with that. I am done with a lot of things. So, I will keep this simple dream in my heart, and one day, maybe I will be lucky enough to find someone who will see the same value in it as I do. Anyway, this song was in my head at 4 am this morn...

Moment of Waking- December 5th, 2011-Well, it looks like two hours of sleep is what I will be working on today. Better to be up at 3am anyway, considering I have 3 tests today and 4 finals between now and next Monday.Glad to have the extra study time. Anyway, the first thought in my head? "I don't believe the devil, I don't believe his book, but the truth was never the same without the lies he made up." I so wish I had time to travel down that rabbit hole right now! No such luck. Here is God Part ll...

Moment of Waking-December 4th, 2011- "Hey now, hey now now, sing this corrosion to me" was the first thought in my head. I really like the word corrosion...the way it sounds, the way it feels in my mouth and throat when I say it. When I hear that word, in my mind I see a rusted pipe-rusted to the point that it is just flaking away into dust. I almost get that metallic taste in my mouth. If that's weird, so be it. I've always had a thing with how words sound and feel when I say them, the images they conjure up, the many meanings one word can hold depending on the context, and I love how a word can start to sound absolutely alien when repeated over and over. Anyway, this song has me hooked lately...thank you Sisters of Mercy...

Moment of Waking-December 3, 2011- I woke up today with a question swirling in my thoughts: What is it the separates the human animal from the rest of the animal kingdom? Opposable thumbs? The ability to reason on a higher plane? The ability to create and destroy? I eventually came up with two things: our propensity to be cruel, and our ability to love beyond reason. I am not aware of any other animal that causes another pain intentionally, just for the sake of doing it. Of course, you can always point out causal factors: rage, hurt, grief, hate, fear, but since when does correlation equal causation? Humans have been at war with each other since the beginning of time, with a multitude of reasons as to why: land, money, religion, resources, but could it be that it is just in our nature? Maybe even in our DNA? What about emotional pain? To break another persons spirit? To be unable to empathize? When I travel down these dark roads, I choose not to stay long. I always come back to the same thought, my son. Having a child gave love an entirely different definition for me. Sure, in my life, I have loved and do love many people and animals as well. But all of that pales in comparison to the overwhelming love that I felt when I held my baby boy for the first time, and ever since. Other animals care for their young, but is that only biologically driven? The need to continue your own species is, of course, not a uniquely human trait, it belongs to even the microorganisms, conscious or not. But that is another rabbit hole. My point is, what makes us love beyond what we think we are capable of? To love unconditionally? I do not have the answer, but I sure do have the reason...my reason, anyway. What would our world be like if we could apply a fraction of that pure love to other aspects of our lives, to other relationships, even a brief exchange with a stranger, or with our planet? Certainly some people do. When I can be conscious of how my words, my actions, affect others, I am acting out of love. When I can move beyond my own selfishness, that is. When I can take myself out of my own tiny little world for a bit. But my son is the only one I have never had that struggle with, it comes naturally, it just is. And I am beyond grateful for that. Especially during the hardest times of my life: when my mother committed suicide, and now, having made a decision to divorce. It enables me to get out of bed when I think it impossible. To smile when my heart is broken. To give love when all I feel is pain. Of course, it could be argued that it does not make me totally selfless, because my decision has inflicted pain on my son. Another rabbit hole, one I cannot go down. I suppose that, at heart, I am an optimist-I will continue to believe in love. I will choose to believe that this too shall pass. Because of my son, and for him, and for all he has taught me about unconditional love, and the unconditional love he gives me. Anyway, those are the thoughts I woke up with, layered within this song. Speaking of love....Muse.

Moment of Waking-December 1st, 2011- "Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday, who could hang a name on you?" No, not the Rolling Stones, but rather U2 Bono added those lyrics during "Bad" in the Rattle and Hum movie. "Bad" is my most favorite song of all time. It holds so much meaning for me, so many good memories of my childhood. U2 was my Mom's favorite band. She died on December 13, 2006, so when this time of year rolls around, I think of her more than usual. So here is my favorite version of "Bad". And I am going to completely ignore the fact that it was immediately followed by "Unskinny Bop." Sorry, Aerosmith (not really!)

11/15/11-3:17am...Not a Moment of Waking song, although I am still having them. Soundgarden, Inxs, Fleetwood Mac, the theme song from "The Facts of Life"...typical stuff. This post is about my new favorite band. You know how something can come into your life at just the right moment, just when you need it the most? This band is it. I get lost in them. I just don't have the words to describe how they make me feel. And they fucking rock, so there's that. Muse has become my muse, and my solace.

Moment of Waking-10/30/11-I woke up to pure lyrical genius in my head this morning. "First I limp to the side like my leg was broken, shakin and twitcin kinda like I was smokin" LOVE my brain for this one! I mean, when you wake up laughing, you know it's gonna be a fine day. I just wish I could have found the uncensored video. I mean, really? Errbody knows he says "Burger" King...

Moment of Waking-10/29/11- I had a dream last night that I was in the most beatiful crystal-blue ocean. The water was warm and there were schools of brightly colored tropical fish everywhere. I was completely alone, with no signs of human life around me. It was fantastic. The ocean is by far my favorite place in the world. It's the sound that gets me. I find it to be the most comforting sound I have ever heard. It makes me whole. Anyway, I woke up with "Oh yeah..." hahaha..love this song and the movie it was in. My son and I were in the car the other day when it came on and he made me turn it off because it scared him. So, that and "One Way or Another" by Blondie are off limits in the car now. Something tells me he would find this video absolutly horrifying.

Moment Of Waking-10/27/11- "On this Harvest Moon" I love this song. When I was a surly teenager, and hated things my parents did, I hated Neil Young. And Bob Dylan. Neil Young has grown on me. Bob Dylan, not so much.

Moment of Waking-10/26/11- When I went to sleep at 3am this morning, I decided to change my alarm ring tone to a song. It woke me up, but it stole my Moment of Waking song. Don't get me wrong, I love this song and the gradual wake-up it provided, but I love the unexpected songs in my head more. Guess it's back to the buzzer tonight.

10/25/11-Moment of Waking-"Following the passage of least resistance, following the pack just to pass the gate, it's a little late for a change in plans, don't you think?" Ahhh, KT, you get me every time. I am tired of following the pack because it's what you do, what you have always done. When does the PAIN of staying the same overcome the FEAR of changing? When do you decide to jump off that cliff, instead of falling off, having faith that you will eventually land on your feet? None of these things happened for me overnight; it has been a building force for years. Too late for a change of plans? Who says? Not me. Not anymore.

Moment of Waking-10/24/11-"Do it all the time (yeah,yeah!). I love this song! Got to see these guys in Memphis years ago, and they did not disapoint.

Moment of Waking-10/23/11-"Guess who's back? Back again?" The exact MOMENT I opened my eyes, that's what went through my head. I love it. Eminem used to offend me. Thank god I chilled the eff out.

Moment of Waking-10/22/11-Sigh. I watched "Bridesmaids" last night. It was ok. I had a few laugh-out-loud moments. But this morning, I am left wondering if a few funny moments are worth the price I am paying. They had Wilson-Phillips perform at the end, so guess what I woke up with in my head? Worth it? I think not.

Moment of Waking-10/21/11- First thought in my head.."You're one of my kind." I loved this band in the '90s. Miss their music. Can't/don't want to listen to them without Micheal Hutchence anymore, that's just me. Anyway, I always loved how these two songs blended together...

Moment of Waking-10/18/11- I lost a friend on Sunday night. "How can I explain, when there are few words I can choose?" That was my thought upon waking. The song itself doesn't match my mood, but that line...that line gets me.

Moment of Waking-10/15/2011-It has been way to long since I have posted here.The songs are still there every morning, I just fell into a spell of laziness. I realized, even if not one person reads this blog, I miss it. It's a diary of sorts. So, my first thought upon waking? "Sea of Sin, I'm swimming in, and I'm taking a dive' yes, the boys from Basildon make yet another appearance, and it nothing pleases me more. For some reason, whenever I think of "Sea of Sin" it bleeds into another DM song, "In Your Room" and this morning was no exception. So, I am going to post both. "Sea of Sin" has no video, but it is a great listen. The video of 'In Your Room' follows.It's bound to be a good, good day.

August 1st 2011- After another night of bizarro dreams, my first thought upon waking was "You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby" I love this song, but the video it just flawless!;)

July 31st 2011- Another night of bizarre dreams...Ambien dreams. Put it this way, at one point I was Eva Longoria. Makes sense that my first thought upon waking would be from the weird little ditty "Bangkok." And now that I've watched the video, I am so confused. Is it about Bangkok or Chess? Playing Chess in Bangkok? Or could Chess be a metaphor for something?

July 30th, 2011- Great song-no waking up on the wrong side of the bed with this in your head! Love it!

July 28th, 2011- So, last night I had a vivid nightmare about a man trying to break into my house to kill me. I tried to find our Ruger .357, but had to settle for the SKS Assualt Rifle w/Bayonet, but I couldn't find the shells. That was ok though, cause dude took one look at it and turned and ran. Annnyway, my first thought upon waking was 'Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que cest, fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better run run run run run run run away.' Maybe I need to lay off the slasher flicks...

July 26th 2011- My favorite boys made another appearance this morning....Sweetest Perfection :)

Monday, July 25th, 2011-I kinda figured I would end up with a song by this group in my head this morning. This tape was on permanent rotation in my Hyundai, along with Beastie Boys "Ill Communicaton." First thought of the morning: 'Wake up praying that a games on, maybe it's the Runnin' Rebs, maybe it's the Knicks, maybe it's a rerun of an old tv show like Hawaii 5-0 or Karate Flicks..." Many thanks to Charles and Andrew for planting the seed for a great wake up song!

Sunday July 24th- Last night, I dreamt that while walking through a seeminly normal suburban neighborhood, I came upon a dock overlooking the ocean. There was a group of men unloading larger-than-life horses out of a boat (more like an aircraft carrier really) with a huge crane, weighing them and measuring their height. Weird but cool. Anyway, this is the song that played throughout the entire dream. When I was little, this song held such a beautiful & mysterious quality for me, as if it had a meaning I couldn't quite grasp. Maybe it still does. "Our house" was the first coherant thought I had this morning.

July 23, 2011- I haven't posted in a while, and I found myself missing it...so I'm back! Today's Moment of Waking? "Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand..." First Wave strikes again :)

Moment of Waking-5/23/11-Every inch of me is bruised...yep that about sums it up..

4/28/11-Moment of Waking...I am so RELIEVED! It has been so long since I had a Moment of Waking song that I thought my brain was broken. I only post the songs that I wake up with...once I'm out of bed, they dont count as wake up songs-even though songs are constantly shifting in there. But today my brain reassured me that all is well and good and (mostly) not broken. This is hands down one of the best jams ever...I wish there was a list of how many songs this has been sampled in...I bet it's a long one. Anyway, today has to be good with this as my wake-up song...

04/19/11 Moment of Waking-Just yesterday, I was wondering when my brain would throw me a curveball of a wake up song, and this morning it delivered! First thought "and if you threw a party" well that took me all of .4 seconds to figure out...I LOVED this show! Put four women in a house that small and watch the hilarity ensue!

04/18/11-Moment of Waking...Absolutey one of my favorite songs of all times, and another band that was played constantly in my house when I was growing up, only more toward the teenage years. My Mom, sister and I used to watch Rattle and Hum over and over again, to the point where we all had every bit of dialouge memorized. Even though I haven't listened to their most recent stuff, I can't wait to see them in concert in July-with my husband, brother, sister, an aunt and uncle and it will be my son's very first concert! That's a good start!

04/17/11-Moment of Waking...I am really loving this band right now...something about them reminds me of the happy times in my childhood. I grew up with a variety of music constantly being played in out house, but Grateful Dead was played the most. This band takes me right back.

04/16/11-Moment of Waking-What a great song to wake up to on a dark and rainy day! I heard this in a Reese Witherspoon movie the other day, called "Best Laid Plans" good movie and I it reminded me how much I love this band. I'm going to post the AMAZING live version, but check out the official video if you get a chance. It was really different than what I had envisioned it to be.

April 15th, 2011-Moment of Waking...I have a confession to make...this is not the song I heard in my head this morning, but rather the one I woke up with in my heart. If my Mom was still alive, today would have been her 56th birthday. This is the song I listed to on repeat during the 4 hour drive to her funeral. It makes me sad; but it also reminds me of the power of music. The way that it can bring us right back to a time and place, how it can comfort us, how it can move us. Every single word of this song, from that 4 hour drive to this very day describes how I feel about her passing. Happy Bithday Mom. Love you. Miss you.

Thursday, April 14th 2011-Moment of Waking- Today I woke up with a headache & 3 songs in my head. One was Depeche Mode's Sweetest Perfection, which has already been posted but is still in my head every morning for about a week now. One was a Black Keys song I already posted. I decided to go with the new one, I just love this song and this band...in my humble opinion, one of the best singers ever. Tragic to lose him. On a lighter note, who can forget when the scene with this song in Wayne's World? Totally Excellent.

I liked aApril 7th, 2011-Moment of Waking...Ahhh...The Pogues...When I met my husband, one of the things I really liked about him was his very eclectic music collection. We liked a lot of the same stuff...but he had music I had never even heard of, music I may not have ever known about had I not met him. The Pogues is one of those bands. I have grown to love them over the years, as they are a bit of an acquried taste. I still can't understand what the singer is saying half the time, but I love 'em! I woke up with one of my favorite songs in my head this morning...

Tuesday April 5th, 2011 Moment of Waking- "Lets go all the way" follow by some 'yeah yeah yeahs'. Hmmm, time for the googles. Once I found it, I remembered the song and I though "You know, I kinda liked that song, it has a good beat and I can dance to it" Well, maybe I could, but the poor guys "singing" it in the video sure couldn't. Seriously, if I hadn't heard this song in the 80's, I would have thought this was some kind of "In Living Color" skit. This is one funny video, and I'm not sure if they meant it to be.

April 4th, 2011 Moment of Waking...First thought? Jem!! Jem is excitement! This is just to damn much for a Monday morning...but just for the record, I did always like the Misfits better! ;)

Sunday April 3rd,2011 Moment of Waking... "I headed out to Lester Hill, but that just made me weaker still"...I am completely obsessed with this band right now. I swear thier lyrics just fucking GET me. Every time. "Walked into the battle blind, it happens almost all the time. The yard is kind of overgrown, and all those happy times are gone." I have had that exact same experience and the feeling it evokes twice in the past 6 months....funny (or not so much) how emotions can sucker punch you out of nowhere sometimes...and also how you can pick yourself right back up after catching your breath and walk on. Not a video, just the song, but give it a good listen...you won't be disapointed..

April 2nd, 2011 Moment of Waking...Riding on the Metro...what more is there to say? LOVE!!

Friday April 1st, 2011...So Friday is really my only day off during the week since I have an online course that I take tests on EVERY SUNDAY, so I sleep in. And by sleep in I mean Noon. None of this "I slept in till 9" nonsence. Thats when you sposed to be up cooking breakfas fo' somebody! Anyway, this is the song I woke up with, and what a beautiful one it is....

March 30th 2011- Moment of Waking- If I could choose just one song to describe myself, this would NOT be the one, but it was still fun to wake up to!

Tuesday March 29th,2001-Moment of Waking...As soon as I opened my eyes, this is what I heard "Row row row your boat..." ummm, what? hahaaa...so in accordance with Rule No. 452 of Moment of Waking (which I just made up), I decree that a video will be posted for every song I can find one for. I was really hoping to find a gansta rap version of this, maybe Eminem..."White America, I could be rowing your boat" Forgive me. Even I cringed at that one. Well, on the bright side, I did learn something new; I had no idea that there was a crocodile in this song...some nursery rhyme, huh?!

March 27th 2011-Moment of Waking...After a week away from my family, I couldn't be happier to be back...so I was not surprised when the lyric I woke up with was "You know I love you so, you know I love you so and so.." I have never been able to pin down any one topic this song is about, except for love...

March 26th 2011-Moment of Waking- Went to a piano bar last night for my sister's birthday...never been to one before and had a great time. They played this one...and I woke up with it...and I am so happy it was this and not Cotton-Eyed Joe cause they played that too..

March 25th 2011 Moment of Waking-I have loved this womans music ever since I saw this performance on Jools Holland- her first television appearance ever. Then I saw her on Ellen & she was so charming, down to earth, has a great Scottish accent AND loves scotch! What's not to like?! You wil want enlarge this video to get the full effect of what she is doing...

March 23rd, 2011 Moment of Wakeup..."something something arrow, something something arrow in my heeaaaarrt". Darn you brain, darn you straight to HECK! It was like being in "Inception" trying to figure this shit out...sans Leo. Then I reached out to my Bitches and voila! within 2 minutes I had my song! Special shout out to mah Bitch Kevin!!

March 22nd-Moment of Waking- You know what the monkeys uptown told you...

March 21st Moment of Waking-Haaahaha...don't know which deep repressed part of my brain this one came from but it made me laugh when my first thought this morning was" Yakkity Yak!" This is not the original band, but this video is so freakin' bizarre I just had to post it...

March 20th 2001-Moment of Waking....LOVE this one! Heard it last night (the radio friendy one) but I posted the one I woke up with...the best version!!! Great wake-up song!

March 17, 2001-Ok brain...what is your problem?! I stay up till 2 am craming psychology into my brain and THIS is what you wake me up with? Really? First thought..."I think we're alone now", then "oh HELL no!" & then the image of her doing that head/ hand thing. What was that about anyway? You know, I liked her when I was twelve, but I'm thir-umm I mean, twenty-one now & my tastes have changed. All I can say to you now, BRAIN, is you better come through for me on this test. You OWE me this. Oh, and once I watched the video, I may have enjoyed it just a tiny bit. Ok, damnit, I liked it! Are you happy now brain?!!

Wed. March 16th-Ummm, my first lyric this morning was "something and the king of hearts" I could hear a melody & the voice, but I had absolutely not a CLUE what this song was. Then I remembered something about a joker being in the lyrics and something about a fool. That is all I had people, and you can't google a melody. So...after several different google searches, I found it! Just as suspected, it was Juice Newton! Wait, who?! I checked the video, it's a catchy tune that I now remember hearing, but really? Juice Newton? Either her parents hated her or she had a bad manager...

Ahh..my middle & highschool obession.So, obsessed in fact, that my best friend, lil' sister(12 at the time?) & I stalked their limo after a concert & followed them to a dance club in East STl, Illinois.Not the safest place in the world. I can't remember if we all got in or left my sis in the car (sorry Sara!) but me and my best friend got in and met them all. We even checked the lead singers arm for track marks! He was rumored to be on heroin at the time, we were soooo worried! We saw none, just so you know. So, they went off to dance with some whor-I mean nice young women who in no way wanted to take advantage of their fame & drunkeness. But I love them still....(sorry for the crap video, it was the best one I could find)

Ah, yes..the day of reckoning has arrived-the day a I woke up with a song so terribly embarassing in my head, it made me wonder if I should lie & and put some cool shiz up here instead. Alas, I cannot. This blog is about honesty! Or music. Whatever. So proceed at your own risk, and while you are kicking your own ass for watching this, remember, I'm the one that is truly suffering...I had no choice.

Moment of Waking...First thought: Sky rockets in flight...and then I found this video. Double WIN!

Moment of Waking-LOVE this band...saw them in the ATL 2 yrs ago...they absolutely blew the roof of the place...incredible..

Moment of Waking...I was wondering when the good Reverend would make an apperance! When my husband & I had been dating for about 3 wks, he showed up at my house and brought me two Al Green CD's. The man knew what he was doing...

Moment of Waking...Makes me long for the day of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Carlton's lip sync performance of this song..

Moment of Waking..Beautiful song...it crossed my mind the moment I opened my eyes & 30 seconds before husband yelled out in his sleep-JUST BUY THE DAMN CAR ALREADY! So, thank you Mr. Young, for the beautiful song & for saving me from a heart attack.

Moment of Waking...Say what? I like MJ. I like the Beatles. This song? Meh. But at least it wasn't that dogone girl is mine shiz.

March 7th Moment of Wakeup...I have NO idea how or why this popped up...literally the first words I though this morning "Mello Yello". Weirdo.

March 6th Moment of Waking

March 5th Moment of Waking..hahaaaa

March 4th-Moment of Waking..

March 3rd- Moment of Waking

March 2nd-Moment of Waking

March 1st-Moment of Waking

Feb 28th Moment of Waking-Get up Offa that Thing!!

Feb 27th Moment of Waking

Feb 26th Moment of Waking

Feb 25th....Moment of Waking lyric..Swoon Units

Feb 24th Moment of Waking

Feb 23rd Moment of Waking

Feb 22 Moment of Waking

Feb 21st, Moment of Waking- Sookie sookie now...

Feb 20 Moment of Waking